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Coach Lee IS
PCI Certified Parent Coach
go to
www.thepci.com
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Coach Lee Contributes 10% of her earning to:
Heifer's Gifts Means Hope For the Future
"Giving to Heifer means giving someone a
permanent victory over hunger, poverty and environmental degradation." |
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December 2006
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A CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR MOMS AND DADS
Trying to walk the line between the anticipation in your child's
excited wait for Santa's visit and your anxious
wait for the day some older child levels with your kid about the
real Santa is not easy for parents.
I stumbled onto an honest answer for my children many years
ago and I'd like to share it with you…
When Nancy and Michor were about five and six, it became
obvious to them as we'd walk from the Christmas parade where
Santa rode victoriously on the very last float, to the shopping
mall where another Santa was sitting for pictures, and still
again to the actual department store where, lo and behold,
another Santa ALSO sat for pictures, that something JUST wasn't
right. "How can there be so many Santas, Mommy?" or "Mommy, why
does that Santa look different then the one we just saw?" they
asked me. Besides my somewhat obvious answer, "Well Santa can't
be everywhere at the same time so he gets some helpers", I
didn't have an honest answer that I could believe in myself,
even when I said it. One day though, as we returned home after
again seeing still more Santas, the answer came to me. I told
our children there was a real possibility there were LOTS of
"for real" Santas at work, all over the world at Christmas time. |
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Who Is Santa Anyway?
I said, I believed ANYONE could be a Santa if they really wanted
to...and knew how to do it. It seemed to me the trick to being a
Santa yourself was being able to be very SNEAKY and also be very
good at keeping big SECRETS. That was what Santa did every
single year! He would sneakily give a present to someone - and
most the time no one ever saw him do it, even in our very own
houses. To be truthful I confessed, even I, the Mom with eyes in
the back of her head, didn't know, absolutely for sure, where
every present under the tree each Christmas had come from.
But if any present HAD come from someone else, (who wanted to
keep it a secret), that someone would just probably say, "Well
that must have come from Santa". That way they could still keep
us from guessing who really gave the present. If they never told
their secret we would NEVER know! I told them I thought that
maybe anyone could be a secret Santa when they did that.
We then discussed whether or not even
children could be Santas if they wanted to. But I said, since
I'd never seen a child-sized Santa, I wasn't too sure about that
part of it. Well ... Nancy and Michor were VERY sure! They knew
they could do it, and wasted no time in telling me just that.
Their animated little faces lit up like the proverbial Christmas
tree at the very thought of it – all that sneaking - all that
secret keeping! It was a wonderful conversation; for the kids
because it was all so exciting, so challenging and so new; for
me because I truly did believe in my own answer.
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Santa Claus Is Running Through Town
From that day on we devised a system which still
continues in one form or the other to this day.. Each holiday
season, we'd spend many happy hours, first deciding what gifts
to give, then doing the making, baking or buying, while also
making sure we left no clues on the tables, or were spotted
shopping. We had to decide what to wrap our gifts with, so that
no one could possibly identify them as from us. After that was
the laborious task of disguising the handwriting that wrote "From
Santa Claus" on the gift tags.Just who could
disguise their handwriting the best? The next job was to case
the recipients neighborhood, the street, the houses next door,
the home's windows, the possible hiding places for the getaway
vehicle, and the potential trees, shrubs and lampposts to hide
us Santas while we sneaked around!
On Secret Santa night we'd set out late enough to be able to
hide in the dusk, but not too late as to trip in the dark while
escaping. Escaping was critical! We'd park up the street a bit
or around a corner, having first cut the headlights a block or
two before we arrived. The by now twitchy, wide-eyed children,
(at first with an adult, and eventually on their own) would
sneak through the well cased neighborhood, ducking under
windows, hiding here and there while approaching their targeted
home.
After propping the gifts or Christmas stocking against the front
door or screen, they'd ring the doorbell, race back to the
getaway car, and fling themselves onto the seats without
slamming the car doors, since the very sound might give their
location away! The getaway driver was assigned the task of
taking off with open doors and without headlights at first, then
booking for home as fast as possible (without getting a ticket!
) just in case the gifted friends should suspiciously telephone
to ask us anything about it.
From the first Secret Santa night, the children loved it! The
excitement of giving and the intrigue involved with doing it
secretly thrilled them!. BEING a Santa was absolutely as much
fun as GETTING something FROM Santa! This solution turned out to
be all I had ever hoped it could be - an honest vehicle to help
our children transition from the Santa myths to the Santa
reality... but there was still more to come.... |
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The Pint Sized Santa Delivers
When December came around the next year, Nancy was in the second
grade. One night after dinner, the phone rang and it was for
her. To this day I can remember just where I was standing in our
Wisconsin farm house kitchen as I over heard her talking. I
could hear only one side of the conversation, of course, but it
was obvious that she had just been told there was no Santa
Claus. I never knew if this was the first time she'd heard it,
or she'd been fielding this assault on her traditions for some
time. Who knows! I couldn't believe my ears, when our second
grader quietly said, "Of course there is a Santa. Anytime you
get a gift and you don't know who gave it to you, Santa has been
there. You could be a Santa too..."
I walked away. I never heard the rest of the conversation. I
was stunned. I had been gifted myself, beyond belief by our own
Santa. She and Michor had been right; child sized Santas could
exist! Better still, not only did she understand about Santa,
she'd bridged the gap so smoothly that this big discovery was
for her, almost anticlimactic. Equally important for us, she'd
learned that the real joy was in the giving!
We still do this. Our children are grown,
married with children of their own. Both spouses have been
properly initiated - that actually was at least in part because
at my age, I will for sure break my neck if I run in the dark in
high heels (our daughter-in-law is amazingly fast
in her high heels) Nor, need I mention that neither I nor my
husband is fast enough anymore to guarantee a getaway! I
actually think we were spotted last Christmas, but the family
was just too polite to tell us so!
Still, there's hope on the horizon. Last year our five year old
grandson began his Santa sneaking and secret keeping. He's going
to be our back-up. By far, the most wonderful part for me is to
see the gleam in his Secret Santa's eyes as he goes about the
joyous business of giving!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
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Copyright 2006 -
Picket Fence Parenting - Lee Gentemann
All rights reserved. The contents of this Picket Fence
Parenting Newsletter may be forwarded in full without special
permission provided it is used for nonprofit purposes and full
attribution and copyright notice are given. For other purposes
please contact Coach Lee at (360) 413-9273 or
Contact Coach Lee by e-mail:
coachlee@picketfenceparenting.com
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YOUR ROAD MAP THROUGH DECEMBER
No matter what you celebrate in December,
this month is crammed with activities, and full of
possibilities. There is more to do then any of us can ever
get to. Mostly those activities arise from a wonderful
emphasis on festivities and faith, rituals and religion, family
and friends- very special times full of meaning.
Still it is hard to travel through December with any sense of
certainty that what is important can be accomplished; that what
is of sacred, sustaining value can take precedence over the
commercialized glitz and glitter which barely lasts through New
Years. How do we travel successfully through this amazing season
and arrive in January, having done what we intended to?
Well, how do you drive from Seattle to New York without getting
lost? . . . Yep, you use a road map! And using that
map, you plan your trip before you ever head out the door.
You figure both routes and side trips, which you match against
the time you have available to reach New York.
Looking at the map, you realize right away it may be possible to
see both Yellowstone and Mt Rushmore, but the Grand Canyon and
Las Vegas will have to be another trip. So you make choices -
what's most important to see? You simply cannot do it
all in one trip of limited days, but planning ahead gives you
the opportunity to maximize your possibilities.
You must also consider the needs of your fellow travelers. Just
how long can they last each day? What along the way is important
to them? Compromise is important here too, as this trip is for
everyone. Take all this into account as you figure your daily
mileage. The bottom line is this -
you would never plan a month long trip to New York without that
road map.
The same is true for your journey through December. Get
a road map and make a plan! What's the destination?
Where are the side trips or stopping points each week? Is
Kwanzaa a priority? Do you gather for a week at Hanukkah? Is the
Christmas Eve Midnight Mass a must? Put those in first.
Then like the Seattle to New York trip, map out your side trips.
You only have 31 days - you have other family members to
consider - You can't accept all invitations; and you shouldn't.
Make choices; say no gently, but firmly, even
to things you'd love to see. Maybe put those on your road map
for next year. Figure out what will make this a
meaningful December. You know what is important.
Then keeping your eyes on your destination, keep your road map
nearby. Should you find yourself headed in a strange direction,
or lost in the whirlwind of too many activities, pull off on a
side road and stop. Consult your map, remember what you wanted
to see and do on this trip, and get headed back in the right
direction! Have a blessed journey to January!
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PARENT COACHING
How's it going in your house? Have issues? Need an
understanding impartial parenting expert in your corner?
Supporting parents and helping children is my passion in life.
Our coaching will begin with building a relationship in which I
learn about your family's dynamics and strengths while you learn
about my strengths and abilities. From our shared strength we'll
tackle your issues and create a future that fulfills your
family's goals and aspirations. You can contact me at:
(360) 413-9273
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COACH LEE
For more information about me, about PCI Certified Parent
Coaching or to schedule our first FREE call, please visit my
website.
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or email me at
coachlee@picketfenceparenting.com
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